We are hypocrites if we claim to love God while we hate others. Our attitudes toward others reflect our relationship with God. [See 1 John 4:19-20] Anger is a great sin in the eyes of our Lord. It violates his command to love each other. It is a dangerous emotion that can and usually tends to get out of control, leading to violence, emotional hurt, increased stress, and spiritual damage. So, I’m checking myself in this sin of anger…I’m angry and frustrated right now. Why? Lies. That’s why. Lies hurt so many people, including those speaking the lies. Dishonest people soon begin to believe the lies they construct, which only results in deceiving themselves and alienating themselves from God. Which is exactly what the father of lies wants. Satan is deceitful; a conniving manipulator. Don’t get wrapped up in his web of deceit or your relationship with God will suffer, you may not see it right away but it’s happening. It’s one of the 10 commandments to not “give false testimony against your neighbor”; a lie is an abomination to God. Proverbs 12:22 says, “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” You know I’ve been lied to [most of my life] but I’m not going to let this effect me negatively. I may not be worth the truth, which hurts and it breaks my heart. I guess this is how God feels when we lie to him. The thing is he can see through all of our lies. We, as humans are not perfect, and I know that people are going to let me down and that I can’t trust anyone. But, I’m trying to be ok with that. Because my Lord will never fail me. “He’s the same yesterday, today and forever.” I rest assure in that. Yes I’ve been hurt by people that I care about, but I’m not going to be angry anymore; instead I’m going to keep loving and praying for those who have hurt me…past and present.
Checking myself
at the heart
When God is trying to talk to you, you need to listen. However, be reminded, we won’t see or hear him talking to us if we are not seeking him with our entire hearts. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 This weekend I was reminded of alot of things. Three questions I’m asking myself and if you’re reading this you can ask yourself… 1. Who am I in my heart; is there a real relationship with God? 2. Am I loving God with ALL my heart; what are the idols in my life? and 3. How am I guarding my heart and growing my soul? No one can have a relationship with anyone OR with God until they are honest at the heart level. In Matthew, Jesus tells us over and over that if the matters of our heart are not pure and righteous it is just as bad as doing the action itself. Jesus looks at our hearts. What do we look like in the presence of God? Our sin defiles us at our heart level. We don’t really see ourselves as we really are, but God does. We are filthy. We smear ourselves with human excrement and vomit…our sin. Filth. We can’t hide this from our Father. He knows us at our most sinfulness, yet still loves us. As Jesus walked up that hill to Golgotha he put on our “filthy clothes” …our sins. You see, when we accept Jesus and “take off” our filthy clothes we get a new heart that is pure and clean. Mark 12:30 says, “to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” When we go seeking after something to make us happy that is anything besides Jesus it becomes an idol in our life and it will disappear before our eyes and will eventually destroy us. You can identify idols by asking if it is more important than God in your life? Is it taking away the time that should be spent with him? Do you feel like you can’t live without it? Idols can be anything…relationships, things, food, work, school…etc. There is only one person who completes you and that is Jesus Christ! We can either lay these idols at his feet or he will eventually burn them out of us and when he does that it is hard. We suffer the consequences of our decisions and we often blame God; but we are the ones that brought that pain on ourselves. We need to own up to our choices; he gives us free will. Don’t blame him for the mistakes in your life. “Above all us, guard your heart.” Proverbs 4:23 If we set our hearts and minds on things above we can begin to nurture our souls and continue to grow. The evil things of this world and our inward desires that are evil corrupt our souls. Little decisions we make everyday are the difference in growing in the Lord. Satan is very patient and he will use those day in/day out decisions we make and use them as footholds to turn us in the wrong direction. We can only begin to grow towards Christ when we guard our heart and make righteous decisions. We have to make Jesus our focus; and in doing this we will begin to act and think like him. We grow our spiritual souls thru conditioning and disciplining our lives through worship with others and with our time spent alone with God. We are going to have to dig to find what will satisfy us; it’s going to require effort…God isn’t just going to give us that growth. We have to seek it. [Colossian 3:1-17]
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”
Say what you need to say
To the few of you that actually read what I say, you already know that my aunt passed away this past weekend…now, I wasn’t extremely close with this aunt. My dad’s family is large and honestly I don’t enjoy being around them because they are negative about everything and they constantly suck the life out of you. It’s very draining. Nonetheless, they are family and she was my aunt. I remember as a child going over to her house and playing with my cousins, so I guess that is one good memory to hang onto. But, what I’ve been struggling with the most through her death is the guilt I have of how I treated her the last time I saw her. I was very angry with her and acted in an unrighteous way. I’ve been reminded that this guilt is from Satan…[thank you for the reminder] however, it’s still been hard to shake. I’ve asked God to forgive me, now it’s just forgiving myself. I’m trying. /: It’s been kind of a slap in the face in making me realize that at any moment God can/will take someone from me. That the things I say or don’t say will affect me. So, if I’m going to say something it needs to be worthwhile and encouraging or I shouldn’t say anything. Friends- choose your words and actions wisely. Make sure your words are gracious. [Colossians 4:6]
So, say what you need to say but be sure to check your thoughts because they determine your character. We must guard against murderous thoughts and words and remember, it’s a short distance from a thought to an action. Be wise in your heart and it will show in your life.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another.” -Ephesians 4:29, 31-32
He desires you and me…
“I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are and not as you should be, because you are never going to be as you should be.” God wants us to trust that He loves us just as we are. But don’t make him something so small, he knows everything about you. Shape your life as a response to His great and desirable love.
I am not in control!
“Friendships are like the things that grow from a tree, and you are the tree. The ones that come and go are the leaves, the ones that are growing are the limbs, the ones that are true and close are the roots that hold you up!!”
October has come and gone and it’s been a great month of growth and learning. Learning about myself and learning about others. I’ve come to realize that people come and go through life. Relationships are a timely thing and I believe that God truly gives us those people and those relationships in the right time; and sometimes He takes them away for awhile and brings them back when it’s the perfect time…but He also takes them away and doesn’t necessarily give them back. It’s reassuring to know that He knows what he is doing. Everything we think we know is nothing but guesses and assumptions, and once we realize that we have no control of the future we can enjoy life. The days we have are gifts from God and we should embrace and celebrate them! We can have joy even in an imperfect and hard world, but we have to find this joy in ONLY the Lord! “So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him.” -Ecc. 9:1 We so often think we have to be in control because if we are then things will be as we want them, when in fact if we just surrender and rely on God to be in control he will direct our paths. Jeremiah prays, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice-not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing.” We shouldn’t be afraid to let God correct our plans. He will give us wisdom if we are willing. His blessings come when we are committed to him, not when we are selfish and hang on to that control. We are constantly self-inflicting ourselves with our sins and desires and God can heal those wounds, but he will not force his healing upon us. We have to surrender, repent and commit ourselves to him. Doesn’t he deserve that? He wants us to turn from our wickedness. “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman.” Stop telling God how it is and listen to him telling you how it is!
we all need saving
Come on, come on
You have got to move on
This is not the you i know
This isn’t real
It’s just all you can feel
And that’s the way that feelings go
And whether or not it’s right or wrong you’ll do what you will do
When the cloud in the sky starts to pour
And your life is just a storm you’re braving
Don’t tell yourself you can’t lean on someone else
Cause we all need saving sometimes
Say what you will but the time that we fill
While we’re on the earth
Should not be alone
We were meant to be known
You make me what i’m worth
But i can’t keep you from yourself you’ll do what you will do
I don’t know why it has to be this way and
I don’t know the cure
But please believe someone has felt this before
Washing away those years…
Dissecting your past can be both painful and beneficial at the same time. It’s hard to remember, but recognizing things and seeing it all through different eyes is very mind- boggling. It’s funny how God can use situations in the present to aid in the reconciliation of the past. Let me tell you friends, reconciliation is a true blessing to God and from God. If we don’t forgive others then God cannot forgive us. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Matthew 6:14-15 God’s pretty blunt there. Through this forgiving and reconciling process I’m learning and growing even more than I thought possible. Sometimes, the fact that I am growing has to be pointed out to me, but when it is I’m like…hmm…oh…yea I guess I am!!! ( : I’m seeing and understanding situations in a new perspective. However, it’s not easy and it’s bringing alot of concealed emotions back to the surface. Tears of sorrow and tears of joy. …”do not hide those tears, they were sent to wash away those years.” I’m so thankful for being broken and the pain is only temporary however, the wisdom and growth is so sweet.
God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
Puppy Love
It was love at first sight…from the moment I picked you out from the online photo….to the first time I held you in my hands….it was love. Puppy love. I can’t believe that it has been three years since we went to pick you up. I remember the day like it was yesterday; it was a rainy, cold, gloomy day…but I was anything but gloomy. The drive seemed to last forever, but when we finally arrived I could barely wait to hold you. It was the first time I actually saw you! You were so tiny; you fit in just one of my hands. You were too adorable for your own good…and you still are. We brought you back to Terre Haute and took you to Pet Smart to get you a collar and a food bowl and such. You were so cute
running around chasing us around the store. I think you were afraid we were going to leave you. I couldn’t be more grateful for you being in my life; you mean so much to me. I love to come home at the end of a long day cause I know that you are there waiting for me. You run to the door and do circles waiting for me to pick you up for a kiss. Then you follow me around until it’s time to go sit down so you can sit on my lap…your favorite spot. I can’t imagine my life without you. I truly understand the meaning of dog being man’s best friend because you are mine. You love me for who I am, you’re there for me when I’m happy and you know when I’m upset or lonely. Your big brown eyes are so hard to be mad at for very long.
If someone asked me what the greatest gift that I’ve received from someone I would without a doubt say you. You were given out of selflessness and you have been a true blessing. A blessing not only from a friend but from God; He knew I needed you. My life would be incomplete without you. I don’t think I will ever be able to say thank you enough for this gift. I wish I could but I’m not even sure how to say thank you for something so wonderful. I love you Jaimie! Thank you!!! [You know who you are! ( : ....]
Protected: -a letter to you-
Dream or Reality…
This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’ve never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
And now that we’re here,
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we’re here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before
I’m so afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me
Afraid of waking
Please dont shake me
And now that were here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes one life contains
They all finally start to go away
And now that were here
So far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
