04
Nov
09

I am not in control!

“Friendships are like the things that grow from a tree, and you are the tree. The ones that come and go are the leaves, the ones that are growing are the limbs, the ones that are true and close are the roots that hold you up!!”

October has come and gone and it’s been a great month of growth and learning. Learning about myself and learning about others.  I’ve come to realize that people come and go through life. Relationships are a timely thing and I believe that God truly gives us those people and those relationships in the right time; and sometimes He takes them away for awhile and brings them back when it’s  the perfect time…but He also takes them away and doesn’t necessarily give them back.  It’s reassuring to know that He knows what he is doing.  Everything we think we know is nothing but guesses and assumptions, and once we realize that we have no control of the future we can enjoy life. The days we have are gifts from God and we should embrace and celebrate them!  We can have joy even in an imperfect and hard world, but we have to find this joy in ONLY the Lord! “So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him.” -Ecc. 9:1 We so often think we have to be in control because if we are then things will be as we want them, when in fact if we just surrender and rely on God to be in control he will direct our paths. Jeremiah prays, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice-not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing.” We shouldn’t be afraid to let God correct our plans. He will give us wisdom if we are willing. His blessings come when we are committed to him, not when we are selfish and hang on to that control. We are constantly self-inflicting ourselves with our sins and desires and God can heal those wounds, but he will not force his healing upon us. We have to surrender, repent and commit ourselves to him. Doesn’t he deserve that? He wants us to turn from our wickedness. “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman.” Stop telling God how it is and listen to him telling you how it is!

 

28
Oct
09

we all need saving

Come on, come on
You have got to move on
This is not the you i know
This isn’t real
It’s just all you can feel
And that’s the way that feelings go
And whether or not it’s right or wrong you’ll do what you will do
When the cloud in the sky starts to pour
And your life is just a storm you’re braving
Don’t tell yourself you can’t lean on someone else
Cause we all need saving sometimes

Say what you will but the time that we fill
While we’re on the earth
Should not be alone
We were meant to be known
You make me what i’m worth
But i can’t keep you from yourself you’ll do what you will do

I don’t know why it has to be this way and
I don’t know the cure
But please believe someone has felt this before

28
Oct
09

Washing away those years…

Dissecting your past can be both painful and beneficial at the same time. It’s hard to remember, but recognizing things and seeing it all through different eyes is very mind- boggling. It’s funny how God can use situations in the present to aid in the reconciliation of the past. Let me tell you friends, reconciliation is a true blessing to God and from God. If we don’t forgive others then God cannot forgive us. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Matthew 6:14-15  God’s pretty blunt there. Through this forgiving and reconciling process I’m learning and growing even more than I thought possible. Sometimes, the fact that I am growing has to be pointed out to me, but when it is I’m like…hmm…oh…yea I guess I am!!! ( : I’m seeing and understanding situations in a new perspective. However, it’s not easy and it’s bringing alot of concealed emotions back to the surface. Tears of sorrow and tears of joy. …”do not hide those tears, they were sent to wash away those years.” I’m so thankful for being broken and the pain is only temporary however,  the wisdom and growth is so sweet.

God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

20
Oct
09

Puppy Love

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It was love at first sight…from the moment I picked you out from the online photo….to the first time I held you in my hands….it was love. Puppy love. I can’t believe that it has been three years since we went to pick you up. I remember the day like it was yesterday; it was a rainy, cold, gloomy day…but I was anything but gloomy. The drive seemed to last forever, but when we finally arrived I could barely wait to hold you. It was the first time I actually saw you! You were so tiny; you fit in just one of my hands. You were too adorable for your own good…and you still are. We brought you back to Terre Haute and took you to Pet Smart to get you a collar and a food bowl and such. You were so cute

001-2running around chasing us around the store. I think you were afraid we were going to leave you. I couldn’t be more grateful for you being in my life; you mean so much to me. I love to come home at the end of a long day cause I know that you are there waiting for me. You run to the door and do circles waiting for me to pick you up for a kiss. Then you follow me around until it’s time to go sit down so you can sit on my lap…your favorite spot. I can’t imagine my life without you. I truly understand the meaning of dog being man’s best friend because you are mine. You love me for who I am, you’re there for me when I’m happy and you know when I’m upset or lonely. Your big brown eyes are so hard to be mad at for very long.

003 If someone asked me what the greatest gift that I’ve received from someone I would without a doubt say you. You were given out of selflessness and you have been a true blessing. A blessing not only from a friend but from God;  He knew I needed you. My life would be incomplete without you. I don’t think I will ever be able to say thank you enough for this gift. I wish I could but I’m not even sure how to say thank you for something so wonderful. I love you Jaimie! Thank you!!! [You know who you are! ( : ....]

12
Oct
09

Protected: -a letter to you-

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11
Oct
09

Dream or Reality…

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’ve never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

And now that we’re here,
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we’re here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before

I’m so afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me
Afraid of waking
Please dont shake me

And now that were here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes one life contains
They all finally start to go away
And now that were here
So far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

11
Oct
09

Life on the Moon

Here in this crowd I’m feeling all alone
Turn me around and point me back to home
I’m getting lost more every day and I can’t tear myself away
From the stars in my eyes with no light
Here are my terms, have some faith in me
And I’ll let you be who you need to be
Life on the moon
Wouldn’t feel as far away
The life that I knew, it’s through
And I’m gonna need you more than ever
I’m alone in this crowded room,
It’s like life on the moon
Float off the ground; my head’s up in the air
Self-conscious to a fault, with all the people everywhere
It’s getting harder every night, to take the punches left and right
Just to know that you’re here by my side
The life that I knew, it’s through

29
Sep
09

Just Breathe…

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
23
Sep
09

Protected: Lies

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15
Sep
09

Power of the Cross

What can heal a wounded soul?
What can wash as white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?
What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father’s love?

Mighty is the power of the cross
By your wounds we are healed
By your wounds we are saved
Mighty, awesome, wonderful is the holy cross

Praise the One who paid my debt!

“He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him. And by His wounds we are healed.” -Isaiah 53:5