This is a reoccurring phrase I’ve heard from friends and family as I try to wrap my head around my recent situation. A week ago I was told I will no longer have a job at the end of the year. Needless to say, I was beside myself and became frantic, wondering what next? Do I have to move back to Vincennes? (which made me even more upset just thinking of that idea.)  Will I find another job? How will I pay rent and bills? Where will I put my stuff if I have to move back to my parents? So many questions….with no definite answers. As the week goes on, I have become a little less frantic and a little more at peace as I step back and evaluate all of this.  I know God does everything for a reason and “he works all things together for good”.  He gave me this job and He can take it away.  I may not understand, however I shouldn’t give up on trusting him to provide and take care of me like he always has.  It’s reassuring to be reminded that God may be silent during my storm but I know and have faith that He is working behind the scenes for something better for me.  The message Sunday evening revived and refreshed my spirit as God reminded me where my hope should be. “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God.” “Fix my eyes on God-soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.” -Psalm 42:11

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death/your perfect love is casting out fear/and even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life/I won’t turn back/I know you are near

I am so blessed to have friends and family that are willing to support me in all ways. Especially my parents! They have really showed me unconditional love this past week. Not everyone can say they have parents that love them, let alone pray for them.  As my parents and I were on our knees in my living room, humbled in front of God, praying, a rush of peace and assurance flooded my heart and I knew everything would work out.  Praise him for that peace and may I always remember that he is present. “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” -Hebrews 4:16

I can’t say what’s next/and I got nothin’ up my sleeve/but I don’t lose my head/cause it ain’t really up to me

I want to keep the mindset of this song! Check it out, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!

I heard this song awhile ago and it’s a great reminder that this world would not be the same without the sacrifices of  not only soldiers but also the pain and suffering that Jesus went through for each and every one of us.

There’s only two people who’s ever died for me
Laid down their lives just so I could be free
They both went through hell, bared crosses and shells
To me they’re both heroes for the path that they chose
One fights for my life, one fights for my soul
…God only knows where we’d be without soldiers and Jesus

“For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.” -Job 5:18

I’m sorry I’ve neglected you….it’s been so long and way overdue for me to visit you. I’m sure my readers are wondering if I’ve fallen off the face of the earth…haha that’s funny! No one reads this. But, that’s quite okay with me. Honestly the only reason I started this blog was so I could release some emotions and insights I’ve encountered in my life. It’s refreshing to write and if someone happens to stumble across it and gains some knowledge or perspective well then I’m pleased to have shared.

….I’ve really been dealing with some anxiety and have found myself in a bit of a “funk” lately and just simply put…discouraged. I got to relax this weekend though. Spent some very quality time with one of my favorite people! ( :  “What did you do?”, you ask. Absolutely nothing…we did what we do best. We drove around all over God’s creation, windows down, music blaring, smelling the fresh country air while enjoying each others company. It was so rejuvenating! I’ve missed those times we got to spend together…but when you grow up life gets so busy and it’s hard for us to find time to see each other. I had a friend tell me a week or so ago that I needed to take some time for myself and get back on track…and this was definitely a step in the right direction!

The fear and anxiousness I’ve been feeling is unnecessary because I have a God of perfect love-  and perfect love  casts out fear. We are not made to worry alone. I was able to express my worry with a friend and finally felt encouraged. My reading today was about worry [in which i was reassured that my God has perfect timing]; I was reminded that the Spirit uses people in our lives to “cast out fear.” I needed to find hope again.  And in doing so, I must “step out in trust-move forward, embrace my challenges despite my anxious thoughts.” If we live in fear our negativity will overwhelm us and the condition of our soul will languish.  “Fear is the dark room where negatives develop.”

“Life is too short, joy is too precious, God is too good, our soul is too valuable, we matter too much to throw away a single moment of our one and only life on anxious striving.”

The Proverbs say it well, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” (Proverbs 12:25) May I strive to be encouraging and positive as I push forward to be the person I want to be, the person I’m supposed to be.

May we meet again soon Blog!

Love,

Niki

He noted that first came her date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash stands for all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars the house the cash
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

We’d be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your lifes actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Cuz that dash stands for all the time
That you spent alive on earth
And only those who loved you
Know what that little line is worth

It matters not how much you own
The cars the house the cash
What matters is how you live and love
And how you spend your dash

The words of a song I love struck me tonight and reminded me of my reading in John earlier today.  “How many times have I gone astray/ the number is the same as the stars in the sky/ but every time you’ve taken me back”…we are just like sheep, getting lost, doing things our own way but Jesus always takes us back. Sheep are very ignorant animals. They have to be herded and watched carefully by their shepherd to make sure they don’t get lost or left behind. They are completely dependent on their shepherd for provision, guidance and protection. Jesus is our good shepherd.  He laid down his life for us. In Isaiah 53:6 it says, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Lord, thank you for being our shepherd; guiding and directing us down the right path and always taking us back when we wander off. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” -Psalm 23:1-3 He will make sure we are always taken care of.

“Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.” -Psalm 100:3

Have you ever had to let go of something or someone? Was the pain of that separation worth whatever became of it? Would you or could you do it again? I’ve had to do this before and it was completely worth it…I can’t say I would want to do it again but I know during the time of separation God taught me a fair amount of lessons that I am eternally grateful for.   I read the following in my devotional and couldn’t put it any better, “Every creation is a separation. Nothing will have life until you let it go. God knows this better than anyone. Everything He’s ever made, He’s set free- even when He knew He risked it never coming back at all. He always takes the chance. He believes that what He sends out in love can come back to the love that let it fly in the first place. God continually recreates us out of the mess of ourselves left trampled and forgotten on unswept floors.” I don’t  know how God can constantly watch us, His children, make mistake after mistake and not do anything but wait for us. His patience is unfathomable. Praise him for giving us that freedom to decide what we want. I find it amazing that he will lead if we want him to, follow along beside us if we ask, or get out of the way for as long as we may decide to keep it that way. As for me, I need his guidance and direction. Lead away Lord. I don’t want to do this on my own.

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” -Psalm 25:4-5

When someone is struggling we have a choice; we can pretend not to even notice or care, we can criticize, or we can offer to help carry the weight. You may think that their burdens are none of your business. However, it is not only our business as Christians to help them, but it is our obligation. Show love, acceptance, and encouragement instead of being indifferent or condemning. I’ve always thought that I was an encouraging person that loves everyone…and I still want to think that I am. However, I know that I make mistakes and I have recently hurt people by not being as encouraging and loving and accepting as I know I should have been. Where I thought I was doing things to help, I wasn’t. I was making things worse. I thank God for convicting me for this and I’ve asked Him for forgiveness. I want to be able to embrace with loving arms. I want to be loved and encouraged during my hard times; therefore I shall return the deed to those that surround me.  I leave you with words on how HE wants us to live.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” -Colossians 3:12

“So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.”